God is REAL

"God is real."

My friend Melissa (whom I miss dearly) sent me this challenge earlier today:

This is for a good purpose.  Hope you do the same.  The sole purpose is to fill Facebook of these sentiments:

God is real.

God is good.

God is faithful.

God is my strength.

God is my shield.

God is love.

God is alive.

The challenge goes on to explain that we are to post these sentiments daily without explanation.

When I read that, I thought, where's the purpose in that?  I have things to say!!  So, instead of facebook statuses (which wear me out anyway), I have decided to employ the blog.

I'm thrilled that I get to talk about God's real presence in my life.  There have been so many, SO MANY things I've encountered that have proven Him to be real, but the one I'm going to share with you is particularly meaningful because it happened almost exactly two years ago.  Also, my friend Kristine recently wrote a beautiful story that inspired me to share this with you--when I read hers, I knew I needed to get mine out there too.

Rewind a couple years.  Summer 2013.

It was a roller coaster of a year.  You see...Tom and I had struggled to start a family.  We married in August of 2012 and knew it could happen anytime.  It did happen, but we miscarried in January of 2013.  It was a terrible, painful, heartbreaking time.  I spent a lot of that winter being depressed and feeling hopeless.  

Spring came, and so did the opportunity to perform in "The Sound of Music."  I cannot tell you enough that THAT SHOW was what brought me back to life.  Maria brought Betsy back.

I was telling a friend about this whole story one time and she said "Do you think the miscarriage happened for that reason, so you could be in the show?"

No, I don't.  I do know that the show couldn't have been a possibility for me if I'd had a big belly.  But, I don't think it was God's "logic."  I think His plan all along, through the heartbreak, was to remind me that HIS plan is sovereign and that He is good, all the time.  He drew me to Him as I felt my life crumble to pieces.  He kept me in perfect peace as I trusted that He would give us a child someday.  I didn't have laughter and happiness and joy, but boy did I ever have peace.

I knew all of these truths about God.  But I wasn't believing them at that time.  We hadn't been trusting Him to provide in that season of struggle.  Talk about a wake-up call.

The musical was a gift from Him.  It was His unique and awesome way of bringing happiness and joy back to me.

Back to the present.  I saw this picture on Timehop a couple days ago:

This is an Instagram post from July 2013, from a North Iowa Fire (our local AAU basketball organization) weekend when Tom was coaching.  I snapped this photo with a bit of an attitude...it was early, I was tired, and I was eager to get it all done so we could go home.

The musical had just closed and I missed it terribly.  Reality came crashing back down after our beautiful song-and-dance world was no more.  There was no positive pregnancy test yet and we were feeling the weariness of trying and waiting creeping up on us yet again.  Here we were at yet another basketball game...the gym floor and bleachers were crawling with kids -- talented, beautiful, happy kids -- and I felt as though I was surrounded by their talented, beautiful, happy moms.  Moms and kids, moms and kids.  Then there was me.  

Alone.

Do you ever have that feeling inside you that is like a storm?  A twister of emotions...it might start quiet, but it's unsettled and gloomy.  As it grows bigger and stronger, it begins to roar, and you feel like there is no escaping.

I felt my mind-storm growing stronger and darker in the gym that morning.  The buzzers and whistles and bouncing basketballs only added to the noise.  Horrible, ugly noise.  I wanted to go away from there, and fast.  I put my head down and felt some hot tears in my eyes.

Then this happened, and I am not embellishing or elaborating ONE BIT:  I heard a Voice.  I can't really describe the Voice.  It was quiet but firm.  It was louder than my storm.  It calmed my storm.  My storm was instantly gone when the Voice came.

What did the Voice say?

"Don't be discouraged."

What??  I sat STRAIGHT UP and quickly looked around me.  I knew it wasn't a human voice; it was different...but I was pretty alarmed.  Just...what???  That Voice was so....clear.  That Voice was for me!  THAT VOICE WAS GOD.  I knew it.  

I wasn't even seeking God in that moment.  I wasn't listening.  And there He was.

Don't be discouraged.

That's all I heard, even though I was straining, leaning forward even, to hear more.  The mind-storm was completely gone and it was quiet.  All I could hear was the gym, and it had reverted back to being pleasant game noise that I was so accustomed to.

After the game was over and Tom was back with me, I told him about what had happened.  I'm not sure it meant the same to him, and I wasn't expecting it to.   He was happy to see me feeling reassured, though, and said that he too had been praying for peace and patience in our season of waiting.

In the days following, every time I was tempted to feel sorry for myself and give in to sadness, I remembered the Voice.  I repeated those words to myself over and over, and meditated on Psalm 139...Isaiah 26...Psalm 27.

We found out we were pregnant on August 10.

Do I believe God is real?

Yes.  I absolutely do.

DONE!...Now what?

I'm done.

I AM DONE!!  My comprehensive exams, final research paper, all the assignments,  collaborations, discussions, reflections, projects, surveys and blah blah blah... 

THEY ARE FINALLY DONE!!!

In a few short days I can add "MA" to the end of my signature.

Someone asked me a week or so ago when I'd start the coursework for my doctoral degree.

um...

HAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NO.

From now on I'll enjoy what I've earned, and when I need renewal credits, look forward to choosing classes that interest me and help me further improve my teaching and/or musicianship.  I've heard there are jazz, theatre and even rock music courses out there.

Morningside won't have a graduation ceremony for this summer's MA graduates until next summer.  Next summer.  Not sure if I can wait that long to get that coveted light blue hood, so I plan on stealing Tom's until I can get my own.  :)

My plans for the rest of the summer, since I have my days back, include:

1.  Spending more time with Tom and Jude.  We have parks to explore and a pool to splash in.

2.  Experimenting with my Canon 60D.  We've had it for 3 years and I'm still kind of pathetic at taking pictures

3.  Training for a half marathon.  Part of me doesn't want to but a bigger part of me DOES

4.  Having a girls' night out (or day out...shopping?) before school begins

5.  Trying and blogging some recipes from Pinterest

6.  Spending a LOT more time in the music studio...my guitars are calling.

7.  Exploring Bob's Guitars in Cedar Falls and maybe bringing home a new Taylor...

So, ready-set-go...one more month of break!

Thanks to all my encouragers and at times, pushers.  Can't believe it's over.  :)

Love, Betsy

The Homestretch

I'm working on the last course of my master's program this summer.

I have a little over a month left before I'm done, and in the time left I have a MOUNTAIN to climb.  On that mountain are half of a huge comprehensive examination, written as a non-cited paper, and the "big one"--my action research project.  My research paper, which is required to be formatted in APA style.

Can we discuss APA for a minute?  WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PAIN IN THE REAR.  It should be called "formatting whichever way your current professor wants it."  I swear.......they all want something different.  I have three APA manuals and they are all slightly varied in the small details of what APA should look like on the page.

APA was the reason I was miserable during my Educational Research class.  APA is the reason for any remaining stress for this last class.  However...my professor this time around has been gracious and helpful, unlike the teacher for Ed Research.  OH gosh.  If you ever want to hear about that experience, come over and sit on the porch with me, we'll talk for an hour or so and you'll learn all about it.  You'll need to wear protective clothing and have some water nearby, because whenever I talk about it, fire shoots out of my ears and mouth.  

I was 7, 8 and 9 months pregnant when I took the course.  I submitted my final paper when Jude was 4 days old.  I may have been a little preoccupied.  But as busy and distracted as I was, the teacher was still terrible.

 Sometimes I wonder if my stress during that class is why Jude had reflux and spit up so much when he was a newborn.

So back to work I go on these final requirements.  Today I must revise the introduction section of the paper and start working on the second half of the comprehensive exam.

IT WILL BE WORTH IT...right?

Have a wonderful day!

Betsy

Winding down.

Two and a half more days.

No, it's three more days, plus another one for the teachers.

Okay so really it's four more days.

So, this school year has basically lasted FOREVER and EVER.  

I could write a book about this school year.  Maybe two books.  

I'll just say this:  we are ready to be done. 

And the kids are too.  We will all get to our last two days, do all of the "fun day" activities like field games (including the traditional and very FIERCE game of tug-of-war), inflatables, dancing, and snow cones...then start watching the clock for the kids' dismissal.

The last day of school and I always have a love/hate relationship.  I love summer.  What teacher doesn't?  I challenge you to find even ONE.  But as the kids leave, I think about how I've seen all of them nearly every day...over 400 kids every single day since September.  And now I have to just say "bye!" and wait until the fall to see them again.  That's hard.

Then, I think about my fourth graders.  Oh, my fourth graders.  My eyes are getting misty this very second just thinking about having to say goodbye to them.  We had such a great time this year and they made my job easy.  You can bet money that I will be crying like a baby come Tuesday...

You see?  It's completely love/hate.

Summer is going to be completely wonderful though, so I'll stick with the love part.  Here's what will be going on in the Kirby World:

1.  JUDE

Walks, going to the park, toddling through the grass, playing ball, visiting friends, going to the pool...we are just so excited to share it all with our funny little sweetheart.  He is getting bigger and smarter every day.

2.  MY LAST GRAD CLASS!!!

I'm writing my final research paper and completing my comprehensive exams.  I'll be done, with a Masters Degree, at the end of July.

And then I SHALL BE GETTING ONE OF THESE.

Well, someday I'll be getting one of those.  A girl can dream...

3.  TEACHING

Ha!  Yeah...it can't be stopped.  Teachers gonna teach, teach, teach, teach, teach.  Even during summer, I feel like Tom and I have to find people to teach things to or we will both go a little nuts.  I'll be doing some private voice and piano at the house, and also a one-day class at Music Man Square.

4.  GIGGING

Betty and the Gents is getting a busy calendar!

JUNE 4 (in a couple hours) Mason City Chamber After-Hours, Overhead Door Co. 5-8 pm

JUNE 17 Summer Concert Series at Trinity Lutheran 7-9 pm

JUNE 25 Private Party

JULY 17 Friday Night Live!  Downtown MC 7-10 pm

JULY 25 Mason City Brewing 8-11 pm

AUGUST 1 Private Party

We'll be adding some dates as we go!

What are YOU going to do this summer?

Love, Betsy

Coffee Party!

This morning I hosted a coffee tasting party for the North Iowa Bloggers!  It was my first-ever bloggers event since I joined the group in March, and it was so fun!

It was a cozy party, with just three of us.  :)  Jenny and Laura came over for quality conversation and yummy treats.  Our sweet Loni dropped off her Keurig for us to use, and spent the day with her poor little man who is sick.  Still praying, Loni.

Three of Mason City's wonderful coffee shops provided us with the complimentary goods.  Weren't they kind to give them to us?  We received fresh, in-house roasted coffee beans from Cabin Coffee and Jitters.  My friend Catherine of Coffee Cat gave us a fantastic platter of homemade bars.  I LOVED hosting this little party and can't wait to have the bloggers over again!

The main event was the coffee, of course.  When I contacted the owners/managers of the shops, I asked if they'd share their most popular coffee beans OR the product that they, as artisan coffee roasters, are most proud of.  From Jitters, owners Scott and Candi shared their "House Blend," which is a fair trade, organic, bold roast.  The Cabin Coffee friends shared "Fiesta," which is a medium roast.  

I ground the beans in my NutriBullet which was slick and easy.  It only took about 5 seconds to achieve a finely ground coffee, ready to brew.  

Now, let me say that I ADORE coffee.  I've loved it since I was twelve years old, sipping it out of thick ceramic white-and-gold coffee cups at the Methodist church in my hometown.  There is something about the warmth, aroma, and strong taste that "gets me" every time.  I am an ADDICT.  In college, I was spoiled with an on-campus coffee shop that served wonderful, flavorful brews each and every day.  I've spent hundreds of dollars at coffee shops over the years, and I can't see myself quitting anytime soon.  When we got married, the coffee pot on the registry was THE most important of all household items and I squealed when we opened it up.

This leads to a topic I'll call "Lessons Learned In Marriage."  I used to purchase only high-quality coffee, like the brews we drank this morning.  I would grind it myself and not think twice about the slightly heftier price tag.  However, when I married Tom, I gave in to his cheaper Folgers, Maxwell House, and Hy Vee brand coffees in the huge cans...I figured that "it was fine" and I could still get my quality coffee at the shops when I would visit.

I WAS DEAD WRONG, PEOPLE!  WHY DID I EVER STOP BUYING QUALITY COFFEE BEANS?!  Tom Kirby, I love you so much but we are so done buying Folgers.  Oh my gosh.  Today, as we brewed our Jitters and Cabin Coffee beans, the house smelled like a coffee shop.  And it was perfect...strong and smooth and delicious and oh man...goodbye, goodbye, goodbye yucky cheap coffee.  I will gladly pay the extra dollars to get this thrill every morning!

I set up our kitchen table with Cat's baked goods, some European chocolates, my sweet little "milk cow" cream pitcher, and the beautiful spring flowers I received from my co-teacher after my concert last week.

Lindt dark chocolate, Zoet milk chocolate, Ghirardelli caramel squares.

(Can you spot my true feelings hanging above the Keurig?  This is how I feel about mornings.)

I served baked buttered toast cut from fresh French bread and Clinton Kelly's egg muffins to accompany the sweets.  The egg muffins were a hit!  I'm glad, too, because I was nervous that they wouldn't be good.  I tweaked the recipe quite a bit -- using 9 eggs instead of 6, bacon instead of ham, adding cheddar cheese and mushrooms, and baking at 350 for 14-16 minutes instead of 10-12.  I am happy to give Clinton credit, though...I LOVE him and his show "The Chew."  I would watch it every single day when I was on maternity leave last year!  :) 

Here is the plate of deliciousness from Cat.  Vegan oatmeal biker bars with walnuts and cranberries, gluten-free peanut butter oatmeal bars, chocolate chip cookie bars, and double chocolate brownies.  OH HEAVENS.  They were all fantastic.

My favorites were the brownies and the biker bars.  I highly recommend visiting the CoffeeCat and trying both of these!

A little sidebar about the CoffeeCat: when I went in to pick up the bars, I wanted to slap my forehead and say to myself, "why don't you come in here more often?"  

I've played solo sets at the Cat several times, and the band has played a couple shows there as well.  This photo is from a solo set during the Christmas season of 2011:

Catherine has done such a nice job with that sweet little shop.  She is dedicated to displaying local art and hosting live music every week -- something that is unique and very valuable in our town -- and her drinks and treats are always super fresh and VERY special.  I have noticed that her monthly feature drinks are designed around whichever fruits and flavors are in season.  

I asked her what was her latest "pride and joy" on the menu, and she mentioned two things: the lemon rhubarb bars (she can't keep them on the shelves!) and the carrot-orange smoothie.  I promptly bought one of these gorgeous smoothies when she told me about it:

It was wonderful and a PERFECT pick-me-up for a warm day!

I can't wait to spend more time with the lovely North Iowa Bloggers -- they are such quality people!  I have many more of them to actually MEET in real life :) 

So, here's to GOOD COFFEE!  I challenge you to ditch the Folgers and visit one of our wonderful LOCAL shops so you can bring some of their fresh-roasted beans home.  You will not regret it, I promise!

Love, Betsy

finding my memory

Thanks to that app called "Timehop," I am able to see my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter posts from this day a year ago.  And two, and three, and four and five years ago.  It's pretty awesome.  It's a tiny little flashback to look forward to each day.  

Tonight I got curious and wanted to see more of this day, one year ago.  I took to iPhoto.

Oh, man.  The memories come flying right back.  Jude was 9 days old and I was clearly still in that newborn "fog."  Still adjusting, still in some pain (but healing) from birth, exhausted, and completely in love and obsessed with that little miracle of a human being in my arms.

We were still living in our old place at the time...our sweet little treasure-box house.  My great-grandmother's china hutch was stuffed into the corner to give us as much space as possible for more important things...you know, the floor gym and bouncy seat and swing. 

My hair, which was most likely unwashed, was twisted into one of those blobs that you only wear because there isn't any chance you'll be leaving the house that day.  I'd forgotten what makeup was and I was most likely sweaty (Who knew that sweating a lot after you have a baby is a thing?  I sure didn't).  I lived in yoga pants and nursing tanks, along with that gray sweatshirt robe that Mom got me for Christmas.  The yellow notepad on the arm of the couch was for recording Jude's feedings.  The blue chevron water cup never left my side.

The leopard-print snuggie was for the long, dark, quiet and lonely nights when Jude was wide awake and all he wanted was to be by his mommy.  When it was calm or softly raining outside I'd open the windows, and the boy and I would get all wrapped up together.  Oh, how precious.  The memory is so close I can feel it.  I truly treasured those moments and now I wish I could take one of them back and re-live it.

Although...now, one year later, I'll go to bed and sleep through the night.  AMEN!!!

:)

My One Year

It has been:

the messiest year,

the most emotional year,

the busiest year,

the most frustrating year,

the craziest year,

the hardest year of my life.

And it has been, without a doubt:

the absolute best year of my life.

Our boy turned 1 on Friday.  All evening and into the night on Thursday, April 16, all I could think about were the memories of "one year ago."  

One year ago, we were eating our last dinner out as a family of two.  (We went to The Quarry of course, and I had my usual grilled Caesar with salmon...still counting carbs up to the very last second!)

One year ago, we were working out in the weight room.  (The fastest I could walk on the treadmill was 2.7 mph and I was huffing and puffing.)

One year ago, we were double-checking our bags, then loading them into the car.

One year ago, Tom was taking Ny-Quil and going to bed. (At 8:30 pm.  If you have read Jude's birth story, you know why this ended up being kind of funny.  At the time I was not amused.)

One year ago, we were waiting for my sister to arrive at our house.

One year ago, I sat straight up in bed with sudden labor, pain ripping through my abdomen, thinking WHAT WAS THAT??

I laid in bed last Thursday night, not able to shake the one year ago memories off and go to sleep.  

I couldn't get his sweet, fresh newborn face out of my mind.

I finally drifted off at 12:00, whispering "happy birthday" to my sweet boy on the video monitor.  He was snuggled up with his bear, perfectly content.  And one year old.

 Since Tom and my nephew also have birthdays in April, my family got together over the weekend to celebrate all of them in one swoop.  Here are some snapshots:

Jude's daycare provider decorated her home on Friday for his birthday!

Saying goodbye to one of his playmates before leaving on Friday.  He loves his daycare and all of his buddies.

 Friday night was all about BAKING.  I don't bake very often so this is a rare occasion.  The dark chocolate fudge cake balls and vanilla cupcakes turned out great, but not without some frustrating moments.  My kitchen was a disaster!  It looked like Frosty the Snowman puked all over it once I was done.  I think that's why I don't like baking...flour gets EV.ER.Y.WHERE.  And powdered sugar.  And granulated sugar.  And egg shells.  And butter wrappers.  And all the things.  

I want to be a great baker.  I want to create beautiful and delicious cakes and muffins and scones...but I just don't have the patience for it!  Measure this, measure something else, get it to this perfect temperature, don't let it sit out for too long, mix this at this speed for this many minutes, AHHHH!!!  Frustrating!  I'm a much better cook than I am a baker...I would much rather create food with my senses than be confined to a recipe.  Maybe someday soon I'll be in an extra-patient mood so I can try my hand at these.

This gorgeous picture, however, shows the vanilla buttercream frosting I made.  OH MY GOSH!  It was perfect!  I used the Williams-Sonoma recipe for the frosting as well as the cupcakes.

Saturday -- my sister's family arrived so the real fun could begin! 

My niece and I had a kitchen floor tea party  :)

The neighbor girls came over to play...

Almost birthday time!

My big boy!  Grandma and Grandpa N. gave him a trike!

He LOVED his cupcake!

 My mom made this beautiful layered strawberry cream cake.  Apparently I did not inherit her baking genius.

Aren, Jude and Tom: the birthday boys!

I'm off to do a very important soundcheck for a gig that I am SO excited about...... can't tell you about it yet, though.  :)

Have a great week!  Love, Betsy